2025 SCFFL week 9 Power rankings

The veil between fantasy football glory and eternal shame has never been thinner. As the Something Clever FFL stumbles into Week 9, managers alike find themselves haunted by ghosts of underperforming players, injury cursed lineups, and the lingering spirit of "should've started that guy." The league's graveyard is filling up fast - while a few brave souls have seemingly risen from the dead with a few monstrous performances, others are being buried alive beneath their own draft mistakes. The air reeks of desperation, pumpkin spice, and pure, unholy chaos. Welcome...to the Nightmare Before the Playoffs.

Enjoy your Week 9 Something Clever FFL Power Rankings!

#10 - Big Nix Energy (Nick Elio)

Recent sparks from Frankenstein's Monster TE Tucker Kraft and Mile High Magic Dark Wizard and Denver Broncos QB Bo Nix (#2 ranked fantasy football QB in recent weeks) have tried their best to jolt this stitched-together corpse of a roster back to life. For a moment, Saquon Barkley and Quinshon Judkins also had this backfield looking terrifying, but now both are hobbling around like zombies with sprained ankles (RB Hubbard lost his starting gig and Swift is also injured). After stringing together a few nice wins, once the lightning storm fades, and the angry villagers put their pitchforks and torches away, all that's left for this team is a sad, empty, and picked through Halloween store on November 1st. The candy bucket is empty, the hellmouth has closed, and the only thing scarier than this team's overall lineup, is its playoff odds.

Current Playoff Chances (6%)

#9 - Johnny Dank Meme Company (John Resetarits)

It seems like the Dark Meme Lord (and league smack talk genius) angered the fantasy football gods, or maybe dug too deep into an ancient pet cemetery, because this roster is cursed. Star wideout CeeDee Lamb (high ankle sprain) vanished for five straight weeks like a ghost into the night, while RB Bucky Irving's injuries have left this team's backfield as lifeless as Joe's weekly complaints about the league rules. Each Sunday brings another haunting: missed points, bench blunders, and waiver wire horrors that would make Steven King shiver (and the also the team with most points against). The memes may be fire, but this team's season (and pathetic title defense so far) is turning into a full blown Nightmare on Elm Street.

Current Playoff Chances (25%)

#8 - take my money (Bruce Hook)

Dreamy mad scientist Bruce's team has some quality potions swirling in play on his roster, but they're producing points slower than a terrified teenager in an 1980s slasher flick - screaming, tripping over nothing, and inevitably running straight toward the danger. Christian McCaffrey remains the only beacon of life in this graveyard, desperately trying to resurrect the roster before rigor mortis set in. Unless this mummy squad unwraps a miracle soon, they'll keep haunting the bottom of the rankings, buried beneath heavy layers of cobwebs, dust, and unspent potential.

Current Playoff Chances (55%)

#7 - Rollin' with Mahomie's (Eric Gruber)

Armed with WR monster Justin Jefferson and the surprising resurrection of Colts QB Daniel Jones, this squad and its success looks perfectly normal under the daylight - almost too normal. But when the fantasy football full moon rises, something absolutely terrifying happens. The mild-mannered Mahomies morphs into a bloodthirsty beast known only as Frankie Fun Pants, rampaging through weekly matchups and leaving only chaos in its wake! One week it's vanilla, the next week it's full Jekyll and Hyde - nobody knows which version will show up, but every team manager matched up against this team prays it's not the unhinged monster one.

Current Playoff Chances (88%)

#6 - Pizza Party (Joe Starmer)

Pizza Party is doing what it does best, losing close matchups in gut-wrenching, horror-movie fashion. QB fantasy hero Josh Allen and breakout WR Jaxon Smith-Njigba have the potential to unleash this roster's inner werewolf, but the rest of the lineup is about as intimidating as a Twilight vampire in daylight. Rookie RB Ashton Jeanty, with his slow-stalking Michael Myers stance, might be this team's only hope to deliver the jump scare needed to claw its way back into title contention...or at least to secure another silver-plated second place finish.

Current Playoff Chances (61%)

#5 - Get Your Popcorn Ready (Steve Clyde)

Commissioner Clyde's squad is hoping for a second half Thriller led by QB Lamar Jackson moonwalking through defenses, and surprise touchdown ghoul Javonte Williams snatching scores from the shadows. When RB beasts De'Von Achane and Kyren Williams are both active, this roster transforms into a terrifying three-headed RB Cerberus that few can contain. The only thing scarier than facing this team at full strength is watching its WRs and TEs creepily vanish into the fog every Sunday. If the rest of this roster can rise from the dead, stay healthy, and contribute with consistent weeks, there will be plenty of brains (wins) and popcorn to munch on.

Current Playoff Chances (80%)

#4 - Master of Punters (Howard Paulson)

Standing a menacing seven feet tall, Master of Punters lumbers through the league like Lurch at a Halloween party - slow, steady, and terrifyingly effective. Anchored by the immortal Derrick Henry, who simply refuses to die, and lightning fast James Cook, this Monster Squad looks poised for yet another deep playoff invasion. But beware - Father Time is sharpening his scythe, and QB injuries, and a complete lack of using the waiver wire to bolster your roster are creeping around like shadows in a haunted hallway. If this team manager can keep the voodoo curses at bay, than this undead juggernaut might just punt its way to another league title.

Current Playoff Chances (62%)

#3 - KENOSHA KICKERS (Jeff Sharpe)

This squad's got me wondering which Halloween flick John Candy cameoed in - because there's something definitely spooky (and hilarious) brewing here. Powered by RB star Bijan Robinson, the radiant Sun-god Amon-Ra St. Brown, and a surprisingly deadly Chargers QB/WR stack, the KICKERS seem to have all the makings of a contender. Still, something about this team feels...off. Like the feeling you get when Dracula is asking you way too many questions about your girlfriend, or after taking one too many jolts of electricity to the brain. Keep an eye on this team, they're a few loose screws away from either greatness or glorious chaos.

(Special note: John Candy was in a 1991 spooky film Nothing But Trouble, and also starred in a lesser known indie film called About the Clown Murders.)

Current Playoff Chances (48%)

#2 - Have a nice day! (Justin Vilardi & Jordan Ray)

This team - and its mysterious shadowy co-manager Justin Vilardi - have the league sleeping with one eye open. It's giving serious Scream vibes, where just when you think you've unmasked the killer, another one pops out laughing behind you. With RB speed demon Jahmyr Gibbs slicing through defenses with ease, a pair of steady QBs keeping the kills and thrills coming, and undead TE Brock Bowers clawing his way out of the grave to health again, this evil duo has everyone double-locking their doors. You never know when Jordan and Justin will strike, but our only hope in stopping them is that the injuries start piling up, or that they go into an unnecessary long drawn out "this is why I did it" monologue before they have the chance to murder the league.

Current Playoff Chances (77%)

#1 - My Precious (TJ Reagan)

Facing My Precious is like waking up in a Jigsaw trap - "Wanna play a game?" Because every matchup feels like you have to saw your own leg off to survive. Dark horse RB Jonathan Taylor is racking up touchdowns like he's collecting souls, and the haunted wide receiver stable of Ja'Marr Chase, Jaylen Waddle, Rashee Rice, and Puka Nacua is straight out of Sleepy Hollow - fast, fearsome, and ready to decapitate your chances of winning. The only faint heartbeat of hope for their opponents lies in this team's murky QB situation. If that puzzle piece clicks into place, this league might as well be playing for second.

Current Playoff Chances (96%)

As the Something Clever Fantasy Football League stumbles out of Week 8 and into the cold, dark, and spooky second half of the season, the wooden stakes have never been higher - or deadlier. The playoff race is tightening like a noose, and every lineup decision feels like choosing which door leads to glory and safety...and which one is hiding Pennywise the Clown. Trade offers are turning into tricks, injuries and turning into nightmares, and even the league's top teams aren't safe from the evil shadows creeping up to drag them down the rankings. From cursed rosters desperately clawing for redemption to blood thirsty beasts hungry for more, one thing's for sure - this horror show is far from over, and only the fearless will survive the Nightmare Before the Playoffs...MOO HAHA! (scary vampire voice). #draftbetter

~Johnny Dank